Females = Problems

I sat down one day and I asked myself, why are females so troubling? As I pondered for a moment, it hit me! I finally realized it!! I just thought about all the problems and it so happens that "ALL" problems are obviously caused by females and some by children but children come from females so its all their fault anyways.



Since the beginning of time, Eve in the Garden of Eden thought it would be smart to eat the "Apple of knowledge" ERRR WRONG DUMB ASS!
Eve being the first female in existence, disobeys a simple order, gets caught in the act and also manages to get Adam in trouble by forcing him to eat the fruit(what a fuck load of bullshit), this apple incident just proves that women are disobedient and only care about themselves. It's funny how the first mistake was caused by a female, that alone shows females shouldn't be allowed/trusted to perform simple tasks.
(Reports say God did this on purpose so he wouldn't have to deal with women directly)

We can also prove the female Egyptian Cleopatra caused a real man some serious problems, I mean just look at what she did to poor guy Julius Cesar, she clouded his judgment and he did everything she wanted which clearly deteriorated the plan (world domination) he had so viciously devised. If only Julius would have realized what a sniveling pest she was, he would have just grabbed her by the chest and slapped her around a few times, that would have put her in her place.



Another one, in a time not so long ago in a place very far away, Nov 20, 2008 NASA decides to let a female by the name of "Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper" into space, whilst being in space she loses tools in a mission and has the nerve to call this a minor hiccup, god damn you, if she would have just said "I fucked up" I wouldn't hate her so much, but she probably did it out of spite, after that Mission Control had to waste unnecessary time analyzing the hazard of her losing her tool bag and how it would affect the next three space walks...What a fucking bitch...Regardless NASA should have realized what a woman with her name completely stood for.

If you have a good understanding of Physics and Math you can easily interpret her name >Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, I've taken the liberty of showing everyone the equation 0+8=R 8+2=E 10+2=T 12+3=A 15+11=R 26-22=D, and the next step is to simplify the Math problem and BOOM! What a surprise the results are RETARD, if NASA would have done this, a MAJOR FUCK UP (not a hiccup) would have been avoided.

Did I mention women never admit their wrong? They decide to make bad choices simply to piss us off and if we say anything about it, they use the first skill imposed to them by their mothers at a young age, which happens to be yapping.

#1 They start complaining, which in turn categorizes them as a bitch (nowadays it's cool to be a bitch) which in turn pisses off us men with their feminist rights bullshit, then they hit the guy with a frying pan.
(This happens repetitively over a period of a few months)

#2 Man explodes from constant verbal abuse wife makes him put up with on a daily basis, which includes physical abuse.

#3 So the male sucker punches her in the face but miraculously she keeps talking garbage and is now making threats.

#4 Continues to piss and moan and calls the police.

#5 Police arrive and take the females side after she offered them sex.

#6 Finally guy snaps pulls out his pistol starts shooting at the cops, and yelling at the top of his lungs, THIS IS MY FAMILY!!! THIS IS MY HOUSE!!! So at this moment, not only do the police think he's fucking crazy, the whole block thinks he's fucking crazy, which ends up destroying his social life all because of one female, but its not over yet.



After that, they take the kids away which screws the man with child support meanwhile she's fucking some other guy, and tells her kids that the dads a piece of shit and that he doesn't don't care about them...Which actually is probably good, who wants kids anyways? The only bad thing is paying child support.

In scientific terms, an asshole is almost the equivalent to a bitch, but a bitch does excessive yapping which can only be calmed by properly administering an ass kicking, but thanks to all congressman, legislators and all those fake men in office who let themselves be manipulated by females, simply beating a female is out of the question.


So now you have to mix kicking ass with intimidation, if there's no intimidation she'll call the police and you'll just end up looking like a pussy in front of the police and that's just sad, let alone that being sent to court is an automatic loss for men all around the world, why you ask?

#1 If the judge is a guy, she's gonna screw the Judge to fuck you over.
#2 The judge is a woman and simply wants to fuck you over for the hell of it.

I mean come on Frank! Just think, think for one second, all of this happened not because you can't control yourself, but because a female pushed you to the limit and you reacted. So in turn women fuck everything up.

Microsoft can kiss my ass.

So for a few years I've heard the ruckus about many people having Xbox's fuck up and I'll tell you what, it gives me a warm feeling inside when I hear someone complaining about how their 360 decides to not work anymore cause its a piece of shit and whats funny is you believe it's not going to happen to you, but there comes a time when the Xbox you own fuck up and that's some fucking bullshit and when its multiple 360's you already decide to give in and just keep buying them because the addiction to Xbox gaming is transformed into something evil, which makes you keep on buying new consoles even if your warranty expired which if it came to that you would be fucked...And don't rely on hoping your friend let's you borrow a 360 it's not gonna happen, cause anyone who does is fucking crazy and shouldn't own a 360.


I on the other hand have had 3 fuck up...And yes I'am going to get another one, but don't be quick to judge for I have decided, instead of throwing away my damaged 360 out of pure spite, I asked myself....How could this 360 still be useful...Then I realized!!! I can send my 360 to people who don't have alot of money!!! I decided to donate my Xbox 360 to Mexicans in Laredo, Texas so they can pimp out their super cool Low riders/Pickup trucks with the remaining spare Xbox 360 parts.

The feeling of donation is a pretty one, I will be remembered in the minds of every Mexicans every where, VIVA MEXICO, VIVA LA RAZA and most of all, VIVA HARDY BOY.


Still in the end these are a few things that stare me right in the face, when I think about Microsoft...


#1 Why the fuck would you sell defective console? Cause you are a greedy son of a bitch.
#2 If you sell defective consoles you are a asshole.
#3 If you sell defective consoles which are addicting, you have no soul.
#4 If you sell defective consoles which are lame, you are a fucking dumb ass.

Bill number 1, 2 and 3 are referring to you, which means you are considered a greedy son of a bitch an asshole who has no soul for your evil essence denies the capability of housing a soul, number 4 is not referring to you, so you are not a fucking dumb ass for selling non-lame, defective, addictive consoles...
Defective why? 68 out of 100 Xbox 360's are defective which if you round it up it means their all defective...
Why addictive? I don't know other then it being fun, the only other possible explanation I have is you are subliminally being injected crack into our heads without us knowing....


So the end result is you leave us wanting more than a premature born crack baby crying for his mothers crack pipe instead of her tit. Fuck you.

Kiss my ass.

New material coming soon I've been busy being lazy, till then kiss my ass, but if you're a woman go get pregnant or something.

I hate Church.

What comes to my mind when I think of church?

#1 It sucks ass.
#2 Its boring.
#3 All women there are either horribly fat or future sluts in the making.
#4 The place where everyone goes to complain about all their problems, cause they feel their more important than everybody else, cause you losing a boyfriend is more important then the deaths of a few thousand people in other countries.
(Last but not least.)
#5 The right place to go when you want to hear a bunch of bullshit excuses used to justify their own faith and put the other faiths down, even though their all the same as the others.

Hardy Boy, why are you talking about church? Well I happened to be invited to go to a church, which was a complete waste of time, for the fact that I could have stayed home and done 1 of 3 sinful deeds, Watch porn, play Xbox or get trashed and belligerently harass my neighbors, who all happen to hate me.

As I make my arrival to the destination, I think to myself: "this is gonna be some boring shit" anyways I decide to enter, while entering the Temple of the "Holy Lord", I proceed to turn off my Ipod to avoid anybody telling me to turn off my Ipod and pissing me off more than I was , but it so happens that I'am just past the front door and already this old bastard who obviously has it out for me, has the nerve to ask for my name, right there I wanted to punch him in the mouth, so I punched him in the mouth, I was already pissed and there's no better way to blow off steam then punching some old guy square in the mouth, so after socking the old guy I felt a bit better, so I took my seat.

The first thing I notice is this kid (which I presume was about 9 years old) standing on the altar with the same stupid "Help me I'am lost" look children always have on their face, right there I knew he was going to do something stupid, the priest (dressed in what seemed to be a very nice tuxedo that's worth a pretty penny) explains this little boy is gonna sing a song, at this point I didn't think much of it, but then for some reason I wanted to bash my own head against the wall, I wondered why, then I realized it was that he had been singing, this little bastard is naturally terrible, but he had more flow then Lil' Wayne, cause to be worse then Lil' Wayne is saying you should either just kill yourself or pray to God that you get in a car accident and hope you get diagnosed with a severe case of mental retardation, cause I promise you, you're not going anywhere in life, and that's also the only way everybody will feel sorry for you, except for me obviously. So anyways, I quickly decide to turn on my Ipod, and you're not going to believe this the battery is dead, so I had to put up with 5 minutes of severe mental torture, along with the stupid crowd clapping at his pathetic performance, but somehow I still managed to cling on to what was left of my sanity.

After that bastards catastrophic attempt at singing, this looser with nothing better to do with his life starts preaching that God created the perfect immune system, and at that instant my bullshit detector went off, yeah buddy he created the perfect immune system that doesn't do anything to fight against HIV and AIDS, thanks alot asshole, FUCK YOU.

Then the old guy I punched in the mouth earlier goes up to the altar with a busted lip( I couldn't help but laugh at him)and he starts talking about how his dumb ass didn't have a job for a year and by being lazy some how still had money to pay for everything, but then he decided to get a job, and magically all the money he spent when he didn't have a job came back in one check and the greedy bastard kept the check to himself...So what's up asshole? What about Haiti or Chile? Did you forget about them? (not that I care for them, I would have kept it, but in my case but I deserve it) If that bullshit story really happened and I was the old guy, I wouldn't have gotten a job, cause I'am a bad ass and I happen to know the standard procedures of being lazy.

The Chosen One, The Televangelist and The Bullshitter, also known as The Preacher/Pastor or what ever you call him regardless their all the same, with the ridiculous plan that actually works, he cons people(mostly women) by telling bullshit stories to retards that have nothing better to do, but believe his garbage, by "explaining" to these tools that he's special and God has "chosen him" to tell everyone that he and God both want to be in the green. Wait be in the green!?!?!? Holy fucking shit batman!!! I didn't know God needed money, but for what could it be? Wait a tick! I'am such a fucking idiot, I know why God needs money! He needs money to pay Mercenaries AKA Missionaries, to go on ridiculous missions to Somalia and Haiti, give them low budget oatmeal and explain to them that the reason were all screwed in this world is because a talking snake manipulated a woman, that makes perfect sense!! You also can't forget he needs money to pay his angels to do his dastardly deeds and maintain his crib up in the clouds "DAWG"!!

Fun Fact #1
The only things that makes sense in the bible is the part where the woman fucks everything up in paradise, where it says they should treated like property and should be beat when they act stupid, cause all they do is fuck everything up.

Fun Fact #2
The rich and powerful pimp, also know as "God" does work in mysteriously retarded ways!! Hmm thinking about it he seems pretty proficient in the ways of pimping his Ho's.
God= Pimp
Televangelist= Ho
God pimps his Televangelist, to get that MONEY! Like a real pimp would do in the hood.
"Pimping ain't easy"
-God

People giving the money? Yes everyone gave money to these con artists, except me, I'am diesel, I don't need to give money to some douche bag to feel good about myself. I felt like gathering everybody in one single file line so I could commence bashing their foreheads one by one against the floor to hopefully smash some sense in their head.

Why not take a Vacation to Haiti? Yes the preacher had the nerve to tell everyone to take a vacation to Haiti, I thought he was making a vulgar joke and when someone makes a vulgar joke you laugh, so I bust out laughing, then I noticed I was the only one laughing and everybody was looking at me the wrong the way, at that moment I realized he was serious, so I went into a mad rage, punched an old lady in the eye, kicked over this cheap excuse for a fountain of holy water, told everyone to suck it (courtesy of Degeneration X), walked myself to the bathroom took a nice dump and didn't flush, I went out like a champ.

Conclusion, there's not really even a conclusion, it was a waste of time the only thing worth the trip was taking a crap, and even that was boring.

Woman dies for fucking up.

Well I was in my boxers sitting down on my ass enjoying a nice cup of moonshine and the internet guy was fixing my garbage excuse for internet connection (again) which has problems every 2 days, he mentions that some dumb broad by the name of Dawn Brancheau in SeaWorld thought she was slick and decided to play around with a ORCA by the name if Tilikum, which ended up killing her. I decided to do some research, and this is what I found out...

Tilikum is an "ORCA" which is obviously furious at the fact that he has a stupid name, that a woman was harasses him repeatedly and that he is forced to perform on a daily basis for a bunch of loud and selfish kids that want to enjoy the pleasure of watching it do stupid tricks so they can ridicule and laugh at him, I find this enough to drive anything with the capacity to think and reason to the point of insanity.

Whats a ORCA you ask? Well to you retards that don't know anything, A Orca is a black and white predatory whale (Orcinus orca) that feeds on large fish, squid, and sometimes dolphins and seals. Also called known as a "Killer Whale".


Tilikum was captured at the age of two, by a bunch of assholes near Iceland in November 1983 who were hungry but pussed out and decided not to eat him, so they sent him to the Sealand in the Pacific near British Colombia with two other female Orcas until 1992. Tilikum was then sent to SeaWorld. (he was already furious at the fact he was captured) Tilikum was involved in two incidents before his 2010 incident.

First incident, in 1991 he and two other whales killed some "woman" trainer.

Second Incident, in July 6, 1999 some 27 year old fuck stick (probably some animal rights activist trying to bust him out) decided to hang out with Tilikum, apparently he was found dead floating around in his tank NAKED due to a combination of hypothermia and drowning and had a bite from Tilikum.

First of all, if I was Tilikum and some douche bag decided to hop in my tank NAKED whenever I had time alone from all the trash I had to put up with from immature kids being around, I would have slaughtered him right when he jumped in.

So you have to imagine that after this he felt he even had no privacy which changed his uncalm mental status to a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.

And what do you know on February 24th, 2010 Tilikum was involved in a THIRD incident at this point Tilikum said fuck it, he was tired of all the psychological abuse he had to put up with from these assholes, so he decided to take matters into his own hands and declares war, so the 40-year-old Dawn Brancheau decides to make him look like a clown so everyone could laugh at him, when Dawn got in the tank it was all game, the greatest battle in SeaWorld history was about to happen.


Tilikum Grabs Dawn, Dawn quickly realizes whats happening and punches Tilikum right in the tongue, Tilikum comes back with his signature move "The Fin slap", Dawn counters "The Fin slap" with her elbow, punches Tilikum in the eye, and grabs Tilikum and begins to wrestle him into submission by applying force on his fin, Tilikum seems like he might be loosing the battle, so he quickly begins thrashing her, Dawn seeing her signature move "The biting technique" as the only way to defeat her opponent, she bites down hard, but Tilikum was already expecting this, so he then pulls unnecessary strength out of his ass and counters her with his Finisher "The Orca Slam" throws her up in the air and body slams her followed by "The drown", thus Tilikum achieving a crushing(Literally) victory over Dawn... At least two dozen shocked tourists looked on from above the whale tank and from an underwater viewing area.



After the autopsy Dawn was identified to have had Traumatic Injuries due to a serious ass beating, and now Tilikum is hated by people everywhere around the world, so he might actually know how OJ Simpson feels.

The Power Rangers.

Who are the Power Rangers you ask?

The best show that had the best opening theme song in the history of kid shows, it was so awesome to the point where when I heard the theme song I got up and started throwing ninja kicks and punches in the air believing I was a Power Ranger. The theme song had sick ass guitar riffs guitars, people chanting the chorus, and scenes of the Power rangers kicking ass and all that stuff!!

These colorful ass kicking rangers don't put up with the ridiculous monsters summoned by the pissed off old hag by the name of Rita Repulsa, during the show she was actually going through Menopause which is why she was always angry(true fact), that pretty much sums up what the Power Rangers represented back in the day.

These are the real Rangers, not those pussy new Rangers you got on TV now days.

Jason the Red ranger, which is the main man, he pretty much tells everyone what to do.

Billy the Blue ranger, he's the geeky wuss that pretty much sums him up.

Zack the Black ranger, what can I say? You got to have the token black guy and coincidently he wears a black ninja suit.

Kimberly the Pink ranger, she's just hot I'd substitute her gynecologist for myself any day.

Trini the Yellow ranger, which also coincidently Chinese and wears yellow ninja suit.

Well actually summing it up the two "chick" rangers didn't really do anything other then being kept in check by the Red ranger, so actually this show teaches children at a young age that women are useless.

Zordon...No one really cared for him.

I don't care about Tommy the Green ranger, (with his stupid flute) I hated his guts he took the leader role away from the Red Ranger, which I personally found to be bullshit and also took extreme offense to the fact that Kimberly had a crush on his fake ass, what kind of man has a ponytail?

The Dinozoids were kick ass! You got a Triceratops, Pterodactyl, Mastodon, Sabretooth tiger and a Tyrannosaurus Rex, like when I first saw the T-Rex I almost shit my pants, they were all roaring demonstrating how bad ass they were!! Oh yea I forgot the Dragonzord *cough*....Anyways lets move on.


When they all got pissed they would all combine into tank mode for a temporary moment(most times they would skip tanking) just before going into battle mode and turning into the FUCKING MEGAZORD, the T-Rex forms the upper torso and the head, the Mastodon would form the shoulders, arms and the back, the Triceratops forms the left leg and Sabertooth forms the right leg and Pteradyctol forms the chest plate, the rangers would control this ass kicking contraption from the head.

But if you actually think about it each Dinozord has a hidden meaning, the Yellow Ranger (woman) for a leg, which if you think about it means it steps on women, meaning women are meant to be treated like dirt, the Blue Ranger is used for his other leg cause he's a wuss, the Pink Ranger which is using for chest plate like a scapegoat, women should be used as scapegoats, the Black Ranger is used to signify that black people everywhere used to be slaves thus them being the hands and shoulders....And the T-rex....Tells everyone what to do like a real mans suppose to do.

Mind you the green rangers Dragonzord is a ridiculous copy of Godzilla, and another thing how can you consider a Dragonzord awesome if it's called in to fight by a fucking flute? To make matters worse the song played by the flute is also stupid! If the song was okay it'd be a bit more acceptable, but no! The green ranger sucks, the flute sucks and the Dragonzord sucks! Did I mention ponytails are gay?


Concluding this discussion, the first Power Rangers were the best! Not the new garbage that's come out, which is ridiculously pathetic, like the Power Rangers Mystic force what the fuck is that? It looks like a mix of Harry Potter and Teen Titans which is really homosexual! Power Rangers don't stand up for what they did before like back then, when they used to put women down. All these new Power Rangers are just too crappy, watching it is like having to take a shit desperately to the point where it feels like you're intestines are going to rupture, but instead of giving you the courtesy of comforting evacuation, you're surprised with the sensation of a burning sphincter, and there's nothing you can do about it. I guess its with the way kids are raised these days, everything they like is top notch garbage, they don't know anything, the only thing they know how to do properly is piss and moan, their both intolerable and I hate them both !

I'll also mention I played the game it was craptacular goodness, all I wanted to do was get to the Megazords monster fight, and that was just pitiful, they even managed to fuck up the theme song...The game sucked ass, enough said.

Stupid kids and their stupid "SWAG".

You know whats worse then having to walk around under the constant heat of the sun that deliberately tries to piss you off? Walking to the grocery store to buy me a mean bottle of liquor and seeing some punk bastard fuck walking around thinking he's "a real man", because he has "SWAG". The problem is real men don't use "SWAG", real men have boners, hair on their chest and slap women/children around.

Hardy boy, what is "SWAG" ?
SWAG: The new style which plagues everyday mainstream society with uneducated kids ranging from 6 to 20 years old(in some other cases till 30) and having them believe they are "gangsters". (Did I ever mention I hate kids?)

How do you acquire "SWAG" you ask? It's simple limp around on one leg doesn't matter which, if you don't understand just imitate someone on the verge of a heat stroke, try have you're pants lower then you're waist to show everyone you're "SUPER COOL" BEETLE BORGS underwear (Power Rangers would have been a lot better), have a belt on not too keep you're pants up but to just have one on, make sure to have a ridiculously large belt buckle to make up for you're amazingly small penis, wear a hat(preferably a New York Yankees) to the side doesn't matter what kind of hat it is but what matters is having it to the side so you look like a retard and make sure to change you're tone of voice/accent to show everyone you're from a slum, cause remember, being from a slum where drugs, robberies and killings are normal in you're everyday life is something you're suppose to be proud of.

While he's thinking he's the "HARDEST"mother fucker around , I'am on the verge of smashing his face in with my fist followed by a round house kick to the chin (courtesy of Chuck Norris), and since I'am a reasonable man I would then explain to him why he now has to refer to me as the Mr. School Bus Driver, due to him being schooled by me(like other countless individuals).

Then again he wouldn't understand, cause if you have "SWAG" obviously school is for nerds and losers. Thinking about it who's to blame? The parents that's who, for not smacking the shit out of their children, look what society has for the future, a bunch a selfish kids who listen to "Lil' Wayne" think they deserve everything, fail at school and at the same time all want to be hard and speak Ebonics, what the hell is with Ebonics anyways? Whats with people thinking its an actual language?

Ebonics is a term that was originally intended and sometimes used for the language of all, or that of the Black North American people; since 1996 it has been largely used to refer to African American Vernacular English (distinctively nonstandard black United States English), asserting the independence of this from (standard) English. Ebonics derives its form from ebony (black) and phonics (sound, the study of sound) and refers to the study of the language of black people in all its cultural uniqueness.
When did screwing up a proper language, turn into cultural uniqueness?


This video proves what Ebonics does to people, turns them into dimwits like this douche. It's sad the kind of people that are allowed to live in the U.S.



What I believe is...Hold on excuse me, what I KNOW is, its caused by a bunch of people who are too stupid/lazy to teach their children proper English, and hence the ridiculous Ebonics term, news flash assholes you're in America and being in America means you either speak a proper language or get the fuck out!! That's what happens when you let stupid people raise children (its bad enough children are already annoying as hell)), they fill their head with stupidity, and they grow up believing that stupidity is okay, well look here IT'S NOT OKAY to sound like you have down syndrome and IT'S NOT OKAY to chop up a proper language that has its roots since the 5th century A.D.!

Regardless in the end look what "SWAG" has done, it has compiled up to a huge catastrophe that even surpasses Haiti's recent encounter with Gods immature wrath (earthquake), I'am done with this shit, the next person I hear speaking Ebonics is gonna get their back broken BY ME and referred to a English Lesson Plans(ESL) personally BY ME.